Badvertising: Avatrailer

I finally saw Avatar today. I went despite knowing basically the whole storyline (and knowing that the storyline was hackneyed and lame). Normally I don't go to crappy movies just for the visual effects, because most just aren't that great no matter how much they spend on CGI and C4, but with all the buzz Avatar has gotten I knew I had to see it on the big screen just to experience it.

The results were... kinda underwhelming. Mostly I felt like i was watching a cartoon, which I basically was. Then there's the boring story, the super heavy handed bitch slap of an allegory, tons of logical problems, plot holes and a nice topping of Deux ex Machina.

But really, Avatar isn't a movie, its a spectacle, so its not worth thinking too hard about. Instead, I feel like ripping into something even less entertaining than the movie itself: the crappy trailers for even crappier movies which I was forced to endure. Lets dive right in:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians



Oh Pierce Brosnan. How far you have fallen. You were James freaking Bond! One of the good Bonds, even in the crapfest "Die Another Day". How did it come to this?

I give this movie (based on some books, apparently) credit. The writer clearly didn't want to be accused of making a giant "Harry Potter" ripoff, so they made the main character not wear glasses. Totally different. Good thing its probably gonna flop badly at the box office, because that means there won't be any monetary reason for JK Rowling to sue. Of course, she's super rich anyway, so maybe she'll do it just to punish them for their audacity. Here's hoping.

Knight and Day

I can't embed this next video, so you'll have to got to Youtube to see it.

What the hell is this crap? Would the studio not green light another "Mission Impossible" title? The action is cheesy and there is no apparent story, which can't bode well for it. Tom Cruise, you don't have to be an action star anymore.

Salt



Lame. And that hairpiece looks awful on Angelina Jolie.

Despicable Me



This one doesn't seem so bad actually, but maybe we just don't see enough to tell what the actual story is. Based on the animation, I first thought it was a sequel to "The Incredibles". The only real criticism I have of this trailer is the time wasted listing all the names of the voice actors. In most cases I just don't care who a voice actor is, even when I actually know who the hell the actor is, which I don't for about half of these. I guarantee kids don't care either, so its especially weird considering this looks like a kids movie. Not really a great marketing choice.

Shrek 4 Ever After



You listen to me Dreamworks: leave my Shrek alone! Stop squeezing the life out of it!

At least they say this will be the final chapter, which is a good sign. And it was great to see Donkey finally get some waffles.