Badvertising: KGB

KGB is apparently a huge scam service, and a poorly named one at that. I love how such a blatant piece of rip-off based capitalism, which is trying to come off as a friendly, helpful company, decided to name themselves after one of the most notorious agents of oppression in human history. Because when I think warm and helpful, I think of the Soviet Secret Police.

But I'll admit it is kinda catchy.

KGB has run a lot of ads, and most are forgettable enough, but a few really get on my nerves. The first features moms and clowns. Lets watch:




So let me get this straight. I wish to hire an entertainer for a social function. And KGB suggests that the best way to do this is to ask some stranger in a call center one question, accept their response on blind faith, and then this person will just be magically hired and everything will be great. Oh, and I'll pay a dollar for this privilege.

Alternatively, I could look up an entertainer for free using Google. I could compare references or ratings and pricing and actually do 2 minutes of research to find which clown I think its best. Maybe they'll even be pictures of said performer. In short, I'll do everything that the KGB "operative" will do, but it will be free and probably faster because I don't have to wait for him or her to text me back with his choice.

By the way, I just love, love, love the "evil" clown in this. Its so hysterically overblown that I have to laugh every time.

There are a couple of these type of KGB "face-off" ads, and while they are all at least silly this one its the worst I think. And the best. Just look at that evil clown.

Now lets look at another KGB ad which is unique in its style compared to the others.



Listen to me carefully ladies: none of these questions require KGB. Most don't require more than google, and the ones that do require a doctor or lawyer.

I'd call this commercial borderline creative. They hit you with so much so fast that you can't really process it, and William Tell never fails to get my brain humming. The choice of "questions" is weird though. This is a lot of serious stuff. Medical issues, legal issues, environmental issues. KGB's biggest (and probably) value is in settling bar bets among people who don't have IPhones, which is why I suspect they are running so many ads during March Madness.

Its also interesting that this particular ad features all women, asking "serious" questions. All the KGB ads I've seen aimed at men show its value as the aforementioned instant trivia machine. I've been waiting (not eagerly, but waiting) for the male version of this ad, but I don't think its coming since it doesn't seem to fit into how advertisers target men.

Also, I was watching basketball when this commercial came on, and they had clearly changed the word "poop" to "pool" at the beginning of the song. Shame on you, KGB, upsetting the delicate sensibilities of people watching sports games filled with sexist beer commercials.

My conclusion from all this: KGB is a "service" for idiots who somehow are terrified of basic google searches but tech savvy enough to text random questions to "information" companies.