Killing me tastily

Toxic death, here I come!

I was reading the Awl today, and for some reason I decided to click on an ad link for a list of "7 Foods That Should Never Cross Your Lips".  The result was an article on Prevention.com, which is apparently an anti preservative/anti toxin awareness website.  And now I have to move, because my kitchen is apparently stocked with toxic food which I shouldn't go within 500 feet of.  The List of Death:

1) Canned Tomatoes

Not a promising start for someone who makes pasta 5 times a week.

2) Corn Fed Beef

In other words, beef.

3) Microwave popcorn

But its so tasty! And has surprisingly few calories for a snack food.

4) Non-organic potatoes

1 for 4! 

5) Farmed Salmon

1 for 5!  Actually make that 1 for 10, since I eat way more salmon than most people so it should count double.

6) Milk produced with artificial hormones


Oh dear.

7) Conventional apples

Well there goes 90% of my fruit intake.  I wonder how they feel about red vines.  That's a fruit, right?

So that's it, there's a big ol tumor coming in my future unless I change my ways.  I'm seriously considering changing my diet to things not on the list: Diet Coke, Turkey Jerky, Beer and nachos (beef free, of course).