Friday, May 28, 2010

Clean up Crew- A Revolution in Fitness

I've done it. I've come up with a perfect new workout, which is guaranteed to burn lots of calories and work all the important muscles from head to toe.

Its quite simple.

Step 1: Wait till my gym is close to closing time.

Step 2: Clean up after all the meat heads and clueless morons who are too busy doing their exercises incorrectly to re-rack their weights properly. Put back all the dumbbells laying around on the floor (bonus points if you put them on the right rack!). Put away the plates which are strewn around the room or left on various barbells.

Step 3: Try to resist the urge to come in the next day and hurt anyone you see making a mess in the first place.

I guarantee great results if you stick to this program. And who knows? Maybe the fact that the gym is actually in working order will let someone do some actual productive working out.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Elin's Revenge

$750 million? Good lord thasalatta money!

I know Tiger is rich, but even that has to put a dent into his formidable fiscal empire. Sure, he'll still be richer than almost everyone else in the world put together, but he obviously does care about money. I doubt he was wearing that Swoosh for his health.

In a way, this may be good for Tiger. I know a lot of people, myself included, wondered what possible motivation Tiger had to make nice and keep busting his ass at golf, given that he had more money than a Walton kid. Maybe losing a good chunk of his party money will encourage him to keep trying to tear up the links with a renewed energy.

P.S. Elin, I know you gotta get paid and get your hair done and buy TYCO with his money, but if you could spare a measly half billion so that the Chargers could build their new Downtown Stadium, the City of San Diego would be forever in your debt. Cause right now they're too much in everyone else's debt to come up with the cash. Thanks.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Wenlock and Mandeville: The Early Years

Oh Good Gravy. I've found the origin story for our new mascot overlords, spelled out in this happy little video.

It all makes perfect sense now. British people are crazy.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Dumber, Scarier, Crazier

Behold, your Official Mascots for the Games of the XXX Olympiad:

I'm sure Lord Zeus and Baron Pierre de Coubertin are looking together down from heaven with big drunken smiles of pride at what has become of their beloved games.

These abominations of nature are named Wenlock and Mandeville. Wenlock was named after some forgotten place where they had the Olympics before they were called the Olympics. Mandeville is a hospital.

And lest we forget, mascots are created not just to bring joy into the hearts of children and inspire World Peace and understanding. They also have the most important job of all: bringing in that cold, hard cash. As you might expect, these twin monsters will be showing up not only in your nightmares but will also be featured on shirts, hats, a cartoon series, and lots of other magical worthless crap. My favorite part:

The Cyclops design allows the mascots’ eyes to work as lenses, and digital cameras in the shape of the characters will be available.

What a time to be alive! And just as a reminder, there are not one, but 2 Christmas shopping seasons before the 2012 games. Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Random Thought: Running habits

I try to go running as much as I can. Usually I take a radio or, more commonly, an Ipod so I can listen to music while I exercise. I've developed a habit of wearing whatever musical device I'm wearing on my left arm using an armstrap. I've done this for years.

Lately I've been feeling a little odd running, and I thought maybe it was from my Ipod affecting my movement in one direction. Which is ridiculous when you consider how small it is, but I decided to switch things up and wear it on my right arm.

Bad idea.

It totally messed me up. I was off balance, the cord was all over the place, and it was totally awkward trying to adjust the volume or songs. I felt like I had to learn how to run all over again, and it didn't do much for my running.

Its just amazing how much something can become a habit, to the point that even a relatively small change, just moving it to the other side of my body, could be such a disaster. Its not like I was driving a car on the left side or attempting to write left handed. Its just an Ipod I took on a jog.

Of course, maybe I'm just a spaz.