Collective Drama

{Scene: We open on the well appointed office of a successful business owner.  The owner is sitting at his large, elaborate desk in a very nice chair.  His employee enters and takes a seat in front of him}

Employee: "Hi boss, you wanted to meet with me?"

Boss: "Yes, sit down.  Its time to go over your contract for the next year"

Employee: "Well boss, I think we had a pretty good year.  The business seems to be doing well, and this job give me a lot of satisfaction.  I'd be happy to re-up my current contract, if that's alright with you"

Boss: "Hold it there, son.  I've got big plans!  We're expanding!  We need to up production!"

Employee: "Wow, really?  I mean, we are kinda at maximum production as it is, but I suppose we could add some extra workers to increase output."

Boss: "Extra workers?  We aren't that flush.  Maybe a temp for some light filing work on Fridays, but otherwise its all on you.  I need you to up your workload from 8 hours a day to 9!  Its the only way!"

Employee: "Well, honestly boss, that would be tougher to handle.  This job is pretty demanding, and I worry that quality could slip.  But I suppose I could try, for the good of the business.  I would get overtime pay for my efforts, right?"

Boss: "Actually, I'm cutting your salary."

Employee: "WHAT! Why?  I thought things were going well."

Boss: "Sorry, but it can't be helped.  We need to stay competitive.  I need you to work longer hours for less money, or else we're in trouble."

Employee: "My goodness!  I thought we were doing so well.  Are things really that bad?  Is the company in trouble?  Are we really losing money?"

Boss: "Heavens no!  Things have never been better.  Revenues grow every year, and we are swimming in profits.  This was our best year yet!  And every year the value of the company goes up, and my net worth with it."

Employee: (puzzled) "Oh... well then you must be worried about the economy"

Boss: "Hardly.  We weathered the worst recession in generations with barely a hiccup.  In fact, we've weathered every downturn, including the Great Depression, and we've never been stronger.  We are largely recession proof."

Employee: (even more puzzled) "Um... ok.  Well then why?  Are we worried about competitors?"

Boss: "No, not really.  We don't really have any.  Oh sure, there's some other similar companies, but they tend to operate mostly at other times of the year, and there's enough of the pie to go around.  Besides, we smash them in both popularity and revenues.  We're cock of the walk!"

Employee: (just really puzzled)

Boss: "We also have a special law from Congress which helps us edge out any competition before it starts.  And if any fool is dumb enough to actually try and compete directly, we just crush them like bugs.  They all end up going bust and losing their shirts.  In fact, only one guy ever posed a real threat to us, and so I did what anyone would do: brought him in and made him a partner!  Now we're both richer than ever!"

Employee: "Well, boss, I still don't get why you want to change things.  Are you worried about foreign competitors?"

Boss: "HA!  We are the only business like this in the world!  Oh sure, they have similar things in a few other nations, but they are all small potatoes.  No, that's too generous.  They are one half of one tiny potato.  And even with that, we are more popular in those countries than their native businesses!"

Employee: "I just don't get it.  Are you worried about capital costs?  I mean, we did do all those big projects in recent years.  Do we have a cash flow problem?"

Boss: "Not at all.  Hell, we duped a lot of local cities to chip in and pay for a good chunk of those projects, and now they are paying off nicely. The bucks are rolling in, and we are making more money than ever!"

Employee: (frantic): "Customers!  You're worried that we'll lose customers!  That's it!... right?"

Boss: "Not in the slightest.  Every year we generate more and more interest.  Every year we raise prices, and those suckers still shell out their hard earned bucks for our product.  They can't help themselves, they love it so much.  Its like one step above dealing drugs, and its totally legal!"

Employee: "Well then why?  Why must you make me work more and pay me less at the same time?"

Boss: "Well, um... competitiveness.  We need to stay competitive!  And after all, I'm the owner.  Don't I deserve some profit for my hard work?"

Employee: "Well yes, of course, but honestly I'm having trouble believing all this.  Would you mind showing me the books? Maybe that would help me understand?"

Boss: (indignant): "What! Never!  Those books are mine, and I can't show them to you!"
Boss:  "Now are you going to sign my new contract, or not?"

Employee: "Well I suppose I have no choice.  I mean, if I didn't, you would just replace me with some other worker who has my skill set.'

Boss: (slightly flustered) "Well, um... sure.  That's it".

Employee: "Well wouldn't you do that?"

Boss: "Well I suppose... in theory.  But there aren't actually any other workers with your skills.  So I'd probably have to shut things down entirely.  Or maybe I could hire some less skilled workers to replace you, but my customers would be unhappy.  Either way I'd probably lose a ton of money and customer loyalty."

Employee: "Oh.  So without me you're basically screwed?"

Boss "Well, yes. I mean, it would be very bad for business."

Employee "And with me, as a result of my skills and efforts, you make more money than God?"

Boss: "Well I mean... yes. But then again, God doesn't have to pay alimony.  So its not really a fair comparison".

Employee: "I sympathize.  But really, do I at least get something out of this?  More health benefits?  More pension? Some equity in the company?"

Boss: " No, not really.  Its just more work for less pay.  Now hurry up and sign or I'll fire you!"

Employee: "Sorry sir.  I like working here, but I just don't see how this is a fair deal for me.  We have a great thing going.  I'd just like to keep things the way they are." 

Boss: "What!  How can you be such a greedy bastard!  Get out!!!!  And don't come back until you realize how lucky you are to slave away to make me even richer!"

{Scene}