Apparently those really awful PR commercials didn't do the trick. Despite all the money spent by America's Corn Refiners, people just don't seem to like High Fructose Corn Syrup. Wait, scratch that. America LOVES HFCS, but for some reason they don't like its name. Which is totally bogus, given that its made up of 4 words which are, at worst, neutral, and at best really great (who doesn't love syrup?)
But faced with a fat and hateful public, our patriotic corn syrup makers have decided to face the music and change things. No, they won't be halting production on our blessed obesity sludge. Nor will they be tweaking the formula to make it healthier. They've done the best thing of all: given it a new name!
Behold, CORN SUGAR!
Its sugar! Made from corn! Which is healthy (sort of, but not really this particular kind of corn).
So rest easy and eat up America. No more harmful fructose syrup for us. Just good old fashion corn sugar, like Squanto taught the Pilgrims how to grow.
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