Badvertising: HFCS

I've decided this blog needs a temporary break from Football and Politics (very temporary), so here's another installment of my award winning* Badvertising feature. This time we look at two spots which are part of a campaign to set the record straight about that most maligned of healthy, organic foods: High Fructose Corn Syrup. For too long this great staple of our pioneer ancestors has been unfairly maligned by the Health Nazi Elitists, and now the Corn Refiners association has decided to fight back. Lets roll the tape:






The first video does a good job of demonizing the would be demonizer, by making the white mom seem like a total elitist snob because she apparently gives a crap about what her kids eat. We all hate people like this, phony "know it alls" who spout off BS for no reason other than to make themselves feel smart and then can't back it up with facts. Its pretty effective, actually, as even the strictest health nut would rather down an oil barrel of HFCS than have to put up with a whiner like this.

I like the second video better because its not so over the top. Instead of an annoying mom disparaging her hostess with petty concerns, its just some dope who wants a Popsicle but has to feign an interest in eating healthy before giving in. Both ads are smart because its a woman doing the sales pitch in defense of HFCS, as women are generally more interested in eating healthy and more trustworthy about what food are "good" and "bad" for you.


Of course, both these ads are technically right in their claims: HFCS is made from corn, has the same calories as Sugar, and is fine (maybe?) in "moderation". But these claims are also misleading in their honesty. Corn has its nutritional values, but its not exactly health food, especially when you strip if of all its vitamins and such in order to squeeze it into a highly sweetened goo used in processed foods. HFCS does have the "same calories" as sugar, but when was the last time you heard people saying they wanted MORE sugar in their diets?

But worst of all is the claim about "moderation". Yes, HFCS is probably not awful for you in moderation. Most things are ok in moderation. The trouble with HFCS is that its in EVERYTHING. Almost any processed food which needs the slightest hint of sweetening will get it from HFCS, because our massive farm subsidies make corn so cheap HFCS has become the sweetener of choice for almost all food producers. HFCS supplies the American diet with tons of excessive empty calories devoid of vitamins or antioxidants. This is why its not good for you, and this is why you should watch out for it.

The problem with (or effectiveness of) these ads is that they make watching out for HFCS in your diet the equivalent of something painful and unfun like Veganism. "OMG, I can't eat ANYTHING with Corn Syrup in it cause its wrong and I'll get six types of cancer and so will my dog"! Turning down a 15 calorie Popsicle or being a chiding harpy about some fruit punch for your kids is behavior deserving of scorn. But the reality is that in order to consume HFCS only in moderation, as advocated in these commercials, you have to be actively be careful about what products you buy and consume.

Whatever you think of these ads, you have to hand it to the Corn Refiners of America: they have balls. You don't see the Lard Producers of America or the National Council of Salt putting out such bold ads in favor of their products.

* Some award you never heard of. In the future.