Throwdown: Five Guys vs. In-n-Out

As a native of Southern California, I grew up worshiping at the Temple of In-n-Out. Moving to New York meant a lot of changes in my lifestyle, not the least of which was that the closest Double-Double went from being just down the block to over 2500 miles away. So it was a happy day for me when I discovered the east coast version of In-n-Out: Five Guys Burgers and Fries. The mission of both places is the same: high quality burgers and fries, made from the best ingredient and cooked fresh for the hungry masses.

Recently I learned that this was no longer a simple East Coast vs. West Coast affair. Five Guys is busily expanding all over the country, including opening stores in Los Angeles, perhaps In-n-Out's biggest stronghold. I believe competition is a good thing, so I thought I'd do a run down of the pros and cons of each restaurant. You never have a love like your first, so naturally my own bias is for In-n-Out, but I'll do my best to be neutral in this assessment.

Locations

Five Guys crushes In-n-out in this category, largely because of their opposite business models. In-n-Out is privately owned and has repeatedly turned down buyouts, franchising and attempts to go public. In contrast, something like 85% of Five Guys are franchises. By my count, their are Five Guys locations in 28 states and they are aggressively expanding all across the country and into every major metro area. In-n-out has traditionally limited itself to California, Nevada and Arizona. Great if you happen to live in one of these states, heartbreaking if you don't. Only recently has In-n-Out taken the bold step of expanding into Utah, a move which coincides with the opening of the first Five Guys in Salt Lake City. Someday historians will write about the great burger wars of the 21st century and how they were started in the Beehive State.

Speed

As far as I know, there are no Five Guys locations which have a drive thru, and no In-n-Outs which don't have one. Neither place takes that long, but In-n-Out is generally quicker from the time you order to first bite. Five Guys tries to offset the wait by offering all the free peanuts you want.

Decor

Red. White. These are the base colors for both establishments. Rumor is that when Five Guys first opened, In-n-Out was threatening to sue for image infringement. FG keeps it simple with red stripes on white and a red/white checkerboard motif on their walls, cups and menu. In-n-Out is lavish by comparison, including yellow in their logo and a smattering of blue and green on cups of certain sizes. In-n-out takes this category with their palm tree graphics and understated touches that reference surfer culture. Not to mention the bible verses hidden on the bottom of their cups, reassuring you that God approves of your choice of lunch.

Burgers

Now we get down to brass tacks. First the similarities: Both places use only fresh, never frozen, high quality ground beef. Both will serve a single, double, triple or larger if you want. Both cook them fresh at the time you order them.

Five Guys patties are larger, so while I personally will always order a double-double at In-n-Out, I usually just get a single at FG. Five Guys will only cook a burger well done. They say this explicitly on their menu. Given the size of their patties, this can lead to drier, less tasty burgers if you are unlucky. To me, this is the biggest strike against Five Guys. Its hamburger, not chicken, don't overdo it. In-n-out still cooks their burgers through but stops short of well done, and their smaller size means less cooking time and no risk of drying out, so the burgers are always juicy and flavorful. In-n-out also wins the bun battle with their fresh baked sponge buns. Five guys buns are fine, but nothing special. Overall, Five guys makes a solid burger, but In-n-Out is still the best.

Burger Extras

Any burger loving Californian knows the meaning of "animal style" (grilled onions), "Protein style" (sans bun, wrapped in lettuce), or concept of an N-by-N burger (n patties with n slices of cheese) at In-n-out. Many will not eat a burger any other way. Great as these options are, Five Guys beats In-n-Out in the extras department. Bacon, the king of sandwich toppings, is available for a small charge. The rest of the extras are free, including: Fried onions, mushrooms, Jalapeno peppers, green peppers, A1 sauce, BBQ sauce, and hot sauce.

Fries

Both places make fries from fresh cut potatoes. Five Guys opts to use peanut oil, while In-n-out prefers vegetable oil, and both boast about their oil's lack of cholesterol, as if health conscious people actually eat this stuff. I prefer the skinner, crispier fries from In-n-Out, but I seem to be in a minority in this opinion. FG fries are not only larger, they come in multiple serving sizes and you have the option of regular or Cajun seasoning. In light of this, I reluctantly give this round to Five Guys.

Other food

At In-n-out its burger or bust. Five guys offers Kosher beef hot dogs, to which you can add Bacon or Cheese, thereby making them not Kosher. If third grade taught me anything, its that two negatives make a positive, so therefore the final option, the Bacon Cheese Dog, actually becomes Kosher again. I've never actually had one, so I reserve judgement, but they sound tasty. Five Guys takes this round by default. Both also offer a "grill cheese" but again I don't know how good either are, so we'll call it a draw on those items.

(Note: Five Guys also offers something called a "veggie", which I think is a sandwich. Why anyone would go there and order this is one of the great mysteries of the Universe)

Shakes

In-n-Out strikes back with their tasty, thick milkshakes, always made with real ice cream. Chocolate, Vanilla or Strawberry and perfect on hot sunny days or cool summer evenings alike.

Portability

As mentioned before, In-n-Out thrives in a California's car based culture, with every location having a drive thru and employees offering to package their food differently if the customer plans to eat in the car. But suppose a normal burger run won't do the trick for your hungry party. Suppose you need volume. Help is here: The In-n-Out cookout trailer. That's right, your picnic, party or shindig can have a portable In-n-Out all to yourselves.

I played football in High School, and at the end of two-a-days one year our coaches surprised us with a post practice visit from the Cookout trailer. My teammates and I were worn down, struggling to make it through the last grueling practice of summer before the season started. The sight of the trailer headed down our street and into the parking lot was a bigger motivator that the threat of a hundred up-downs or a mile of bear crawls. Instantly there was a spring in our collective step, and I doubt a handful of greenies chased with a pitcher of Red Bull would have given us more energy.

Stuff

Five Guys is in the Business of selling burgers. This is their official motto, written in bold red letters on their website. A fine mission indeed, though limiting. In-n-Out is also in the business of selling burgers, but also has a wide array of logo merchandise for sale. T-shirts, polos, tanks, Fossil watches, sweaters, jackets, ball caps, beach towels, golf balls, license plate frames, and much much much more. My Dad has an In-n-Out Hawaiian which he often receives compliments for from total strangers, many of whom are eager to learn how to acquire one of their own.

If logo clothes aren't your thing, maybe you'd prefer the In-n-Out foundation Bear. He's cuddly, he looks sharp in his uniform, and all proceeds go to charity.

Conclusion

I think its pretty obvious from this post that, given a choice between the two, In-n-Out wins out in my mind. That's not meant as a slight against Five Guys. Both have room for improvement: In-n-Out needs badly to open a location here on the West Side, and Five Guys has a dearth of cuddly bears and milkshakes. But for now I think we can be happy to have both these fine burger joints which stand head and shoulders above the rest of the fast food world. Bon Appetit!