Thursday, August 14, 2008

Chinese Pixies and Shiny Things

There's been an increased rumbling in the sports press about the fact that the Chinese "women's" gymnastics team seems to be a tad under the mandatory age Olympic gymnastics age limit of 16. By seems, I mean is. In fact, one of the girls was reported by the Chinese press just 6 months ago to have been only 13. I know the Chinese culture is full of ancient knowledge and magic, but unless they have crazy potions made from turtle spleen and yak antler which will age a girl 3 years in 3 months, I'm calling bullhocky, which I believe is a Chinese delicacy made from parts of a cow you don't wanna know about. The point is, its clearly impossible for this girl to be 16.

First, a note. Personally, I don't think there ought to be any age limit for Olympic competition, either minimum or maximum. If you're the best in the world at something you deserve a shot to prove it fairly, no matter your age. That's supposed to be the point of these games (at least in theory), to let competition win out.

But rules are rules, and clearly the Chinese have broken some. So what's gonna happen?

Nothing.

You might think the proper thing is for the IOC to enforce the rules as specified and DQ the Chinese women's team. Sure, that's the "right" thing to do, but it aint gonna happen. Anyone who thinks it will happen is under the delusion that this is a sporting event. It's not. This is a coronation, a coming out party for the Chinese people and the Chinese Communist Party. Hell, they went all the way to the Politburo to decide that the little girl who was to sing at the opening ceremony wasn't cute enough to represent the nation on NBC. Try to take this medal from them and there will be hell to pay.

This medal is their shiny prize, the thing they can hold up to their nation and say "Look at us! Our people were able to do this! We're as good as those other snooty nations, we beat them at their own game! All those homes we bulldozed to build these venues, all the protesters we squashed, all the things we've done and continue to do, it was all for THIS!"

Not that there's a big chance the IOC would dare enforce its own rules. This is an organization which has long been accused of being corrupt and ineffectual, often for good reason. You expect them to take away the coveted grand prize from a nation which has moved heaven and earth (a lot of damn earth, to be truthful) in order to roll out the red carpet for the Olympics?

So let's drop it and move on. In a month no one will care, and in a year no one will even remember. Let's just enjoy the rest of the games (go Kobe!) and get back to the real important stuff: Football!!! Cause there's never any cheating in that noblest of sports.

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