NFL Picks: Week 10

No NFL picks last week. The Chargers had a bye and so I took one too, plus all my idle time and energy which usually goes into my awesome NFL picks was focused on the election. Back to business this week, as I add to my 56-35-5 record.

BROWNS -3 Donks

Douchebag 3rd year QB versus flaming (not) gay 2nd year QB making his first start. Oh, NFL, how can you survive if you insist on putting such great matchups out of view of so many fans on NFL Network?

Bills +3.5 PATS

This game could decide the AFC east, and I think the Bills will bounce back and steal it.

TITANS -3 Da Bears

Is this a joke? Sexy Rexy is playing against the NFLs best defense, and its only 3 points?

Saints +1 Dirty Birds

Saints keep it rolling, and the Dirty Birds run at the playoffs ends.

Seachickens +8.5 FISH

Last week the Seahawks punted 11 straight times. The Fish went to Denver and won by 9. So it just seems right that this will be a squeaker.

Pack +2.5 VIKINGS

Dammit the Pack was sooooo close to knocking off the Titans last week.

Rams +9 JETS

Come on, 9 points? I know the Rams kinda suck but they damn near beat the Pats last week, and they have beaten the Skins and crushed the Cowboys. 9 points?

Ravens -1 MOO COWS

Replay of the Hurricaned-out game. Ravens D will smother just enough to get a win.

Jags -6.5 LIONS

Del Rio's boys have had a rough couple weeks. The Lions will get to play the role of slumpbuster. Metaphorically, that is. I hope.

Panthers -9.5 Raiders

Last week, at home against the mediocre Falcons, the Raiders offense was held under 80 total yards.

BOLTS -15 Chefs

With all due respect to my man Barack, Ron Rivera is the real change we can believe in. YES WE CAN... blitz the qb! YES WE CAN... get some turnovers! YES WE CAN... play some fucking defense for once!

Big Blue +3 IGGLES

Probably the game of the week, should be a bruiser. Not really feeling great about this pick.

49ers +9.5 BUZZSAW

Oh dear god. Imagine, back in March, some NFL execs were looking at the schedule and decided that THIS game should be on MNF. As for the game, the Buzzsaw is looking good, and the 49ers fired their coach and got destroyed two weeks ago by the shitty Seahawks. All this adds up to a Monday night crapfest decided by a field goal in the last minute.

Enjoy the games. Remember: YES WE CAN... drink beer and eat nachos till we pass out! God Bless America!