NFL Picks Week 3

So last week was a little rough. Not only did my Chargers have a win stolen from them by his hunkness Ed Hochuli, I went 5-9-1-1 with my picks (one push and one non-play because of the Ravens/Moo Cows Hurricane-out). That brings my season record to 16-13-1-1.

Time to rebound this week, and just as the Bolts will look to get things going against the Jets so will I try to turn my luck around. As always, home team in caps, pick in bold, witty ditties which offer no real insight underneath.

FALCONS -5.5 Chefs

Oh dear lord. Nothing to see here people.

Browns +2.5 RAVENS

Browns are desperate to get off the Shnide.

Raiders +9.5 BILLS

I know the Bills are the hot team right now. But 10 points? I just can't make that pick on International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

DA BEARS -3 Tampa Bay

Expect a close one but Bears at home is the pick.

My Boy Romo -3 CHEESEPACKERS

Thank God this isn't a Sunday Night or MNF game. Can you imagine the Romo/Rodgers/Farve talk?

Who Dat +5.5 DONKS

Please. Please please please.

Jags +5 COLTS

Jags are angry, Colts are hurting. 5 points is too much for this line.

Bo Jangles +3 Gus Ferrotte

The Carolina Panthers have this guy at QB:


The Vikes have a guy who once headbutted a wall and injured himself for the year. Who you gonna pick?

Joey Porter's Mouth +12.5 MATT CASSELL IS A FUTURE HOFer

Joey Porter is a loudmouth idiot, but even he wouldn't take give those points.

Bengals +13.5 BIG BLUE

Probably a bad pick, but I'm just hoping that the Bengals won't be so inept this week. Dammit TJ I need some fantasy points! I can't lose to Danielle this week!

IGGLES -3 Stillers

I bet Pennsylvania has been a real joy this week. Eagles get this nod because they are at home and because of Ben's shoulder issues.

Lions +4 49ERS

In any other week this would be the worst game. They lucked out with that Chefs vs Falcons matchup. It still pretty much sucks though. Logic tells me to pick against the Lions, but logic is incompatible with the 49ers.

SEACHICKENS -9.5 Lambs

Eek. Think about this: the Rams are so bad they are getting 10 points from an 0-2 team whose QB has a sub 50 QB rating and who is so desperate for a healthy reciever they just brought in Koren Robinson. Ouch.

TITANS -5 Moo Cows

Titans continue their run at the AFC South.

CHRIS COOLEY'S MANHOOD -3 Buzzsaw

Good Offenses, no defenses, should be a fun shootout.

BOLTS -9(thousand) J E T S! JETS JETS JETS!

Dear God we need this one. LT or no LT, Merriman or no Merriman, Norv or no Norv. The Chargers are coming back with a vengeance, and that Vengeance is gonna stomp all over Brett Favre's neck.